Recap of the 2025 IFS Institute ConFerence
Having just returned a few days ago from the Internal Family Systems (IFS) Institute’s Annual Conference in Chicago, I have a part of me that can’t wait to talk all about what I learned. I also have a part that is overwhelmed with information and is having a hard time talking about what I learned. And then I have a part of me that says, ‘You paid a lot for that conference! You'd better get every drop of value out of it!’
One of the activities that helps me when my parts are all over the place is to write. It sometimes feels like one part takes hold of my fingers on the keyboard and writes until it’s extinguished its report, and then another part races in to take the “wheel.” So let’s get going! all my parts say.
Key Learnings
“Stories stay, lessons leave”
Pauses are so important. We meditated at least once in each workshop. This is a distinct difference between my economic development/community development/non-profit worlds in workshops, which left me somewhat disoriented. What do you mean we should SLOW DOWN?
U-BAC: Unblend, Befriend, Attend, Connect to your parts is a strategy that the Self-Led Collective is teaching, and it’s a great way to stop in the middle of a situation and check in with our parts.
We don’t talk about happy, joyful, excited parts enough. This challenged me because I have lots.
We must SLOW DOWN. This was a constant theme.
Dick said while introducing the keynote, “I have shy parts that make it hard to remember what to say.” and I just loved that.
IFS Institute will train 5000 people in 2025.
“For my research, I went with my DSM brain to the shamans and the priests, and I listened to them as they turned my thinking upside down. They asked: ‘Why would you think of what I would term ‘auditory hallucinations’ as somthing to be fixed? What if that’s your grandmother and grandfather? What if tahts a plant trying to speak to you?”
“We’re working on our relationships constantly, and our feelings and reflections, but look what’s left out of that. What’s left out of that is a deteriorating world. So why hasn’t therapy noticed that? Because psychotherapy is only working on that “inside’ soul. By removing the soul from the world and not recognizing that the soul is also in the world, psychotherapy can’t do its job anymore. The buildings are sick, the institutions are sick, the banking system’s sick, the schools, the streets—the sickness is out there.” - (Hillman and Ventura, We’ve had a hundred years of psychotherapy and the world is getting worse.)
There is sometimes a distinct Before and After time. Mark this as a way to notice and be present with it.
“We have been colonizers and we’ve been colonized at the same time.”
Our society and culture is Weird—we have been taught to operate backwards. With ME at the top of the pyramid, friends next, and Community last. This makes us hyper independent and also very alone in our solutions. If we switch this, individually, we don’t need as much because we are held by the community and friends. “I’m being looked after by many”
Approximately 96% of psychology research is conducted in this type of culture. We are only just now doing a better job of researching indigenous cultures. We don’t really know what it means to be human. We know only what it means to be Western.”
A group needs to be safe enough to go against people’s discomfort.
The quote, “I do not have to be perfect to be effective,” has stuck with me so much.
Some parts nurse our injuries. WHAT! They find more evidence to prove we were injured.
Part of our job is to illuminate a client’s own role in a situation.
Invite HERE and NOW not PAST. This can help people stay in the moment and see reality.
“Everyone is disgusting if we look close enough! There is a way to see everyone as good. We just have to look for it.”
Say things plainly, and it will connect with more people.
I had some big, frustrated parts during the workshops—apparently, working at home and in the quiet has made my overstimulation even more noticeable! People who came late, left early, or made a lot of noise during the session made it hard for me to learn.
IFS is also a spiritual path (I wholeheartedly agree with this!). “Spirituality is the exploration and experience of connection—to oneself, to others, to nature, to the universe, or to a higher power or purpose that provides meaning.”
Self=radiant Sun. Parts can cloud the sun, but never extinguish it.
Spiritality is at the heart of Self. It is inherently spiritual, not religious. Connects us to something larger, such as nature or divinity. We feel guided and that Self is Knowing. Downloads happen. There is something greater than just “us.”
Healing unfolds not by fixing but by turning towards our parts
Parts can be spiritual allies
Aging is a sacred opportunity. This doesn’t mean we just accumulate wisdom. We review and see parts that are shaped by us. Some carry burdens and are longing for healing.
Self Energy exercises SOFT authority.
Your beliefs around how you age change how long you live by 7 years!
Retirement and the Inner Manager—can open up new self-led roles, protectors are tired but they are afraid to stop, retired parts may transform into new types of wisdom.
It’s often the case that in retirement, we want more time for Self.
Power in writing from a part, and then writing from Self to that part. (Ex, write from exile. Answer from self)
By 2030, over 60% of the population will be aged 60 or older.
Aging is a deepening, not a decline.
I learned that I love expressive arts journaling! Below is a page I created. This session was EXACTLY what I needed! The part I explored was Overwhelm. See my journal page below.
Draw or write with your non-dominant hand to hear from exile/younger parts. There is less judgment when you write this way!
Highlights
Meeting Dick Schwartz, the creator of the IFS modality. When I signed up for the conference, I had hoped to attend one of his sessions, but it didn’t work out. I put out into the universe the desire for me to meet him somehow, where it would be for his and my higher good. Not two hours later, I left a session just a bit early because I was so overwhelmed. I was standing in the hallway trying to figure out what to do next. I looked up, and he was walking towards me, all alone, but with his little dog, Pheobe. Well…would you look at that! I got to say hello, pet his dog (which is always how my highest good shows up!), and say thank you for developing and defending his model. I also asked him, “What’s it like to look out at this conference and know this is because of your work?” He said, “It’s overwhelming. It’s heartwarming. And my shy parts struggle with all of the attention.” Shy parts! Even as the leader of a movement, he still has shy parts. I asked for a selfie and he said of course, and then leaned in and out his arm around my shoulders. Ahhh..that interaction was 1000% better than seeing him give a presentation.
Meeting authors and podcast hosts that I follow.
Sasha Mardou is a comic-book author whose book “Past Tense: Facing Family Secrets and Finding Myself in Therapy” was so gracious and excited when I fan-girled over her. She was the leader of one of the IFS Institute’s Annual Conference last year, which was held online, and I just fell in love with her courage and sweet perspectives.
Tammy Sollenberger is the podcast host of The One Inside, a podcast I’ve listened to since becoming interested in IFS. I heard her voice in the room before I saw her, and to be honest, I don’t think I’d even recognize her because I just know her voice! I fan-girled on her as well and told her that her quick-paced, short podcast episodes are so helpful and that I really appreciated her efforts to spread IFS in easy-to-digest chunks! She just published a book called “The One Inside: 30 Days to Your Authentic Self,” which is again, an easy-to-digest guide to making IFS practical and DIY. I’m super excited to dig into it.
The sessions I attended were:
PAUSE for Self-Leadership™ in Everyday Life: A Practical IFS-Inspired Tool to Care for Self, Transform Relationships, Foster Community Wellbeing and Inspire Collaborative Action
Finding Each Other in A Crowded Room: Integrating IFS and Interpersonal Group Therapy with Annie Weiss
Normalizing Self-Energy: Practical Access in Ordinary Life with Kendhal Hart and Alyce Messer
Embracing the Elder Journey with IFS: Healing, Harmony and Spiritual Growth with Beth Rogerson
Roberta Omin and Susan Mason
Healing Complex Trauma with IFS and Expressive Arts Journaling: a Hands on Experience with Theresa Soltzberg
I bought so many books! I’m glad I didn’t have to fly home and I could just drive with my giant, heavy bag o’ books!
The Self-Led Internal Family Systems Workbook by Tanis Jo Allen, LMSW, ACSW (crrently the Kindle version of this is only $1!)
Parts Work: A Path of Heart. Healing Journeys Integrating IFS and Spirituality by Tom Homes, PhD
The One Inside: 30 Days to your Authentic Self by tammy Sollenberger
Quieting the Storm Within: An Illustrated Introduction to Your parts Through Internal Family Systems and Beyond by J. Ashley T. Booth, LCSW (This one is currently available for free for Kindle Unlimited members!)
Meeting New Friends
I had such an amazing time meeting new people at the conference. It’s been so long since I went to a work “thing” like this where I didn’t know a single soul. My extrovert parts were very excited to find people to eat meals with, sit by, and get to know. I met a lovely woman named Sarah on my first day. She had recently moved to New Mexico from Kansas City so we talked about how Taylor Swift has changed the town. She is the Clinical Director for a youth recovery center. And I had a lovely lunch and converstaion with Jason, a IFS practictioner from Canada who loves dogs. We bonded over our neurodivergence and how challenging it was growing up and not fitting in. I did get a selfie with Jason!
Photo Album
